Goodbyes are part of life. As I planned for this blog, I thought about the poem Reason, Season, or Lifetime. I hear or read references to this poem often. I think of goodbyes in a similar way. (Note: No study participants are pictured).

Reason Goodbyes: These are goodbyes you say to people you see often and might be part of your daily life. For example, the person working at the grocery store. Instead of goodbye, you might say “see you”, “see you later”, “have a good day”, etc. These are “just until I see you next time” goodbyes. The person fulfilled your need, and you move on without thinking about the goodbye. Reason Goodbyes are ritualistic and happen without thought.

Season Goodbyes: These goodbyes are more difficult. Season Goodbyes pull at your heart. You feel a loss. This is saying goodbye to someone who has been in your life for a longer period of time (sometimes just days). You feel emotionally attached to the person and the goodbye is heartfelt. This goodbye can be painful, but you know the person is still around and its possible see them in the future. For example, saying goodbye to coworkers when you leave an organization. 

Lifetime Goodbyes: These are the most difficult. Lifetime goodbyes are the most emotional. When you say goodbye, you know you will never see the person again. No potential for a future meeting. For example, saying goodbye when someone passes away. From 2019 to 2023, 5 of the healers I interviewed passed away.

Goodbyes can be a time for growth. Goodbyes can mean the beginning of something new. Even though Season Goodbyes and Lifetime Goodbyes are difficult, we should take the time to reflect on the happy parts of the experience and try to apply the good things we gleaned from the relationship to our lives.

During the last 7 months (and 5 months of Fulbright in 2019/2020) I said a lot of goodbyes. I am sure I will leave someone out of my list. A Reason Goodbye and Season Goodbye to all of those who were part of my life while I was on this grand adventure—indigenous healers, squatters in the conservation forest, Abdul Rahman, Arie Vatresia, Regen Rais, University of Bengkulu Rector Retno, Singapore colleagues, Australia colleagues, Taiwan colleagues, forest rangers, security guards, lady at the fruit stand, translators, drivers, hotel staff, Macaques, mosquitos, bedbugs, leeches, cats, dogs, goats, cows, spiders, ants, and so many more!!! I will take this adventure with me as I move on to the next. I will grow from these experiences and be a better person for all you shared with me! Goodbye!